You may deny it or not. The signs and the answers are already there in front of you. You just don’t want to take it! Correct? So let me break it to you not so gently.
1. You’re not happy anymore. Obviously.
2. Every time you’re with the person, it doesn’t feel like home anymore. Because it’s not really home period.
3. You feel the relationship has been stagnant for a while. The relationship? Or you’ve been stagnant? Ponder on it.
4. You’re not seeing yourself walking down the aisle with the person anymore. Because in reality, you fall out of love with the person.
5. You’re LOST…and the call to set free yourself is too strong. Don’t ignore the calling. Your whole life depends on it!
Now you have those five things in front of you, enough for you to give up and walk out in the relationship, so what’s holding you back?
– Maybe you think that you’ve been with the person for quite some time. And you think it’s “sayang” to just give it up like that.
Question: Are you willing to exchange your lifetime with “quite some time” with that person?
– Maybe you’re concerned that your family and friends already accepted the person, and it would be painful for them as well if you two would break up.
Question: Who’s going to live with the person for the rest of your life? YOU? Or your family and friends?
– Maybe you’re afraid of what lies ahead of you without the person.
It’s normal to be afraid but just think about the feeling of freeing yourself from the cage you’ve been putting up to yourself. Is that all worth it? Of course!
– Maybe you’re afraid too that no one will love you the way your partner loves you.
Isn’t that a sign of selfishness? You’re denying your freedom because you’re afraid no one will love you back?
The main reason why you’re not happy with your relationship is that you forgot to love yourself in the process. So why deny that to yourself?
But HOW? That is actually the hardest part: breaking the news to the person without damaging either you or the other person in the process.
First. Take some time off. Alone. Away from the person. This way, you’ll be able to discern and come up with a good decision for you and the other person.
Second. Give yourself and your partner a chance to work things out. Break up is one of the hardest and painful journeys for both persons, regardless of the reasons. It would be best if you give yourself that chance to let the person prove to you that he/she is worth fighting for.
If doing the first and the second does not change your decision to get out of the relationship. Do the third one.
Third. Every time you wake up in the morning, ask yourself this powerful question in a month or two.
“What do you want?”. If your answer is you want to get out of the relationship, then you keep getting the same answers to your question every morning in a span of 1 to 2 months. Then that’s it. Time for you to do the fourth one.
Fourth. Muster all the courage you have to tell the person that you want out. Pray that the other person will accept your decision. This is the hardest part, but you need to do it. That too shall pass.:)
“Sometimes you have to let go and be free…”
*First published at msxysarhea.com
*Image: unsplash.com
