Some weeks ago, I wrote about 5 signs that you want out! Now, let’s try to complete the picture from loving to losing to eventually moving on from your recent breakup. We can all agree that breakups are terrible. It can make you a better person or, worst — bitter; whichever way, we have to recognize that each of us has different coping mechanisms for failures, pains, and our everyday struggle.
In 5 signs that you want out, the situation was you wanted to leave the relationship because you’re not happy anymore, you feel lost, and you fall out of love with the other person. So let’s focus on that and say it did happen.
When you’re the one who left.
You may bask and enjoy all you want about your newfound freedom. But here’s a gentle reminder:
– Be sensitive. Know that the other side is in so much pain right now or struggling to figure out why it all ends up like that.
– Forgive yourself. You may feel guilty because you don’t want to hurt the person. It’s not your fault, so forgive yourself. Start on that ground, so you will be able to see what’s ahead of you now that you’re free.
– Breathe. Smell the coffee, notice the flower bloom. Those little things that you ignore and haven’t noticed for a long while. Now is the time to enjoy them!
– Focus on your now. Because that’s all that matters. Don’t be so concern about your next destination. Just make peace with the idea that you will live your life one day at a time from now on. Try it. It’s a liberating feeling.
– Heal what was broken in you. So you’re lost for a while, now is the time to re-examine your life’s goal. The things that you want to do, the places you want to go. Go for it! That journey will heal you and will give you comfort in times that you’ll remember your lost self.
– Start cultivating your other relationships. Remember those times that you forgot your friends, families, and even your GOD because you’re too focused on loving the person? Sure, you did remember. The best kind of person to love are those who help you cultivate your other relationship—someone who will bring you closer to them and not away from them.
– Lastly, Go with the flow. Stop worrying about tomorrow. Stop thinking about your next relationship, what it would look like, who it could be. You are where you are right now because there’s something within you that you need to find. Focus on that first. Work on knowing yourself more, so the next time you’ll be in a relationship. There’s no way you can be lost again because you’re able to know what’s your worth.
When you’re the one on the receiving end of the breakup.
What can I say? Let me talk to you straight.
First. Sorry for what had happened. I know how it feels because I experienced that myself too. I hope you’re coping well, and if you’re still in denial or in so much pain right now. I recognize that and would be with you and share with you at least my own account when I was the one curling at my bed, locked up in my room, and cry a river of tears!
You may question yourself a lot, where and what have I done wrong? And every time, you’ll end up with a loose string and wish you’d vanished any moment because you can’t bear the pain anymore, and this repeats again and again in weeks, in months? No one knows how long.
But I assure you, one day when all your tears had dried up, and you think you’re numb by the pain, or you can’t cry a single drop of tear anymore, and your line of questioning will change from “What have I done wrong” to “Is this all I can do?” Now, I’ll be smiling at you by then, because that’s the start.
That’s the start of your new journey. To what? In facing the real hard truth that the person is gone and you’re all alone on your own figuring out your next step. It would take experiences such as this one to become wiser. Yes, you’ll experience WISDOM through the process. Welcome that with all your heart.
I guess it’s time for you to stop justifying what had happened and a time to recognize that you weren’t able to give the best of yourself somewhere along with your relationship. Though it would take two-way but still as far as your concern, you have that big role in a relationship to keep it going and commit yourself to the person and the kind of relationship you longed to have.
So what’s next for you now? Well, Welcome your new self, because for sure you’ll be a changed person now. I guarantee you that, but I hope the changes would lead to a better you and not the other way around. It will all boil down to how you see things after this life-changing event you are experiencing at the moment. But for whatever it’s worth, Would it give you comfort when I tell you that everything you feel right now shall pass? That everything is temporary, even our lives here on Earth. I am sure you know that fact long before me telling you, so why stuck yourself at the four corners of your room, willow on things that happened because they just happened. You may say, that’s easy to say but hard to do. YES, correct! But for how long will you do that? Face it! What doesn’t kill you makes you even stronger. Help yourself, because whether you like it or not, the sun will shine at the east and goes home at the west. THAT’S A FACT. So, you have to deal with what’s real and what’s not.
Now, where and how would you pick up the pieces? Start where you left off. How? By picking up the scattered pieces within you—one day at a time.
And with affirmation. Start your day with: “TODAY, I WANT TO…”, and do it faithfully. I hope that helps you…and I am so positive that one day you’ll look back at this with a grateful heart because the journey was all worth it. ALWAYS.
*First published at msxysarhea.com
*Image: unsplash.com
